thinking big: feminism, media, and pop culture

How to be awesome like Abby Sciuto …

In Uncategorized on October 22, 2011 at 6:23 pm

Phoebe Bronstein

For those of you out there who are not NCIS fans … Firstly, go home, turn on TNT around 5pm, and it is bound to be on and featuring Mark Harmon in all his glory. But this is about Abby Sciuto (Pauly Perrette) and her amazing and delightful and brilliant character. She is the forensic scientist of the NCIS team with multiple degrees in hardcore scientific things; she is has a grand Goth aesthetic and sometimes sleeps in a coffin; is on a bowling team with nuns; and is generally super cool (as is the other main female character on NCIS, Ziva David who is a badass former Mossad assassin. The women of NCIS are often awesome, I think) and I would kind of love to be friends with her. So here are a few tips on how to be awesome like Abby …

Have a PhD in Chemistry or something along those scientific lines but also an MA in criminology because you are badass.

Drink tons and tons of large caffeinated drinks that look like they are slurpies (Caf-Pows on the show). As a consequence, you might be super excited about everything and a little manic, but that’s okay because that’s how Abby is.

Wear crazy cool boots all the time and get a spider tattooed on your neck.

Be an amazing friend and care about your team, like they are your family.

Always wear your hair in two braids (or pigtails) and have great bangs. Such great bangs.

Never let people underestimate you. Nope not ever.

Drive a bright red Ford Model B (yup that’s right a car from the 1930s).

Have some super awesome computer hacking skills.

Be a forensic specialist with NCIS and solve murders all the time.

Have a stuffed hippo named Bert that makes farting sounds when you squeeze him (whom you occasionally perform CPR on).

Be fluent in sign language (a skill she developed it turns out as both her parents were deaf).

Give lots of hugs even to people who are not big huggers (For example, Gibbs played by Mark Harmon).

Be really respected and adored by your co-workers. Abby is beloved and trusted by her whole team who rely on her big time and all the time.

Be good at bowling and like to play on a team with nuns.

And I’m pretty sure there are a million other ways in which Abby is awesome, so if you are so inspired, add away!

  1. Great post, Phoebes! I haven’t watched NCIS but she sounds like quite a worthy addition to the How to Be Awesome halls. Also, I want to learn sign language so much!

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